I was involved in a Bible study about a wise woman found in 2 Samuel 20:15-22. I’m going to quote the story here:
'And the army of Joab came and besieged Sheba in Abel Beth-maacah, and they built up an assault ramp against the city, and it stood against the outer rampart; and all the people who were with Joab were wreaking destruction to make the wall fall. Then a wise woman cried out from the city, “Hear, hear! Tell Joab, ‘Come here so that I may speak to you.’” So, when he approached her, the woman asked, “Are you Joab?” He answered, “I am.” Then she said to him, “Listen to the words of your maidservant.” He answered, “I am listening.” Then she said, “In the past people used to say, ‘They will certainly ask advice at Abel,’ and so they settled the dispute. I am one of the peaceable and faithful in Israel. You are seeking to destroy a city, and a mother in Israel. Why would you swallow up (devour) the inheritance of the Lord?” Joab answered, “Far be it, far be it from me that I would swallow up or destroy! That is not true. But a man of the hill country of Ephraim, Sheba the son of Bichri by name, has lifted up his hand [in rebellion] against King David. Only hand him over, and I will leave the city.” And the woman said to Joab, “Behold, his head shall be thrown to you over the wall.” Then the woman in her wisdom went to all the people [to inform them of the agreement]. And they beheaded Sheba the son of Bichri and threw his head [down] to Joab. So, he blew the trumpet [signaling the end of the attack], and they dispersed from the city, every man to his own tent. And Joab returned to Jerusalem to [David] the king. [Eccl 9:13-16] '
We don’t know what this woman’s name is, but we know just enough about her to deem she had a good reputation and people looked up and respected her. I think of women I know whom I feel the same way.
I knew my Great-Grandma and witnessed people coming to her for wisdom and advice. She lived her life privately and publicly the same way and she was part of bringing people together, especially during times of division.
I saw my grandma serve others. She was a baker, and she used her talents to gift people with homemade breads, rolls, grape-nuts, cookies, etc. I had no idea the number of people who loved and respected her until I met each one at her funeral. I was overwhelmed by the love so many people had for my grandma and the stories of knowing the Lord better because of her.
My Mother has willingly given her time and energy to her five children. Anytime we call, she answers, and we glean from her knowledge and wisdom. She also serves others as a caregiver, and she is deeply loved and respected.
I could speak about others who are just like them, that are loved and respected for their time, love, wisdom and knowledge. You and I are no different. We can be just like these ladies.
Did you notice how Joab responded to her? He respected her position enough to give her space to work things out.
Did you notice how she went about solving the issue? She used all her wisdom and worked among the people. She was able to bring peace to the situation and save her city from being destroyed.
You and I have our own situations we deal with daily, weekly, monthly, yearly… How are we handling them? Haphazardly or with thought and intent toward peace?
I had a situation come up repeatedly where a person deliberately pushed me away when I was very much a part of a group we were both in. This person oversaw buying items for the members. One time, I was left out from getting an item and the comment was, “I forgot about you.” Another repeated instance was when everyone was invited for an outing, and I wasn’t. It could be as simple as “Let’s go get ice cream together” to getting together to plan the next theme.
I was noticeably hurt each time, and I could tell that this person was getting satisfaction from me feeling left out. I confronted a few times and got a few shrugged shoulders, excuses (“I didn’t know you wanted to go”), and then outright “We just went without you, big deal.” I didn’t know how to handle the situation.
My friend, you have probably experienced something similar. Even as an onlooker, it can have an affect on you. The woman in the above passage wasn’t born wise, she grew wise. She went through problems that made her find solutions. As she made the right decisions, her wisdom prevailed, and she was known for it. Due to the many previous situations she handled and experienced, she was able to deal with this serious issue successfully.
I want this to be an encouragement to us that the problems we deal with today are building blocks to becoming a wise woman, a respected and cherished woman. You will be able to draw on today’s problems for tomorrows to come. This woman would not have been able to fulfill her promise to Joab had she not dealt successfully with similar but smaller problems, like maybe a quarrel between her kids or church family. Maybe she had helped keep the peace between neighbors. Whatever it was, it helped her to know what to do to save her city.
Back to my story. I knew that if I continued to confront it would only bring tension to the group. I started praying and the Lord showed me ways I could humble myself and helped me change my attitude toward this person. The next time I was uninvited I chose to be okay with it and when I met with the group, I asked how everyone enjoyed the outing. When group items were bought, and I wasn’t included, I asked the Lord to keep my attitude right, forgive and move on. One particular time, another member asked why this person didn’t get me the item. I spoke up and said, “It’s okay. I didn’t need it anyway,” and I meant it without malice.
I realized a few weeks later that this person seemed to be confused as to how to handle me. It had given them some type of satisfaction and power to treat me these ways, but now since I had changed, it was no longer benefiting them. I ended up receiving outing invitations and member items.
My friend, don’t discount what God can do for you in times like these. I gained wisdom because He taught me about who I was and how I could change the circumstance. The woman in the above scriptures didn’t gain her wisdom solely on her own. She even acknowledged to Joab that she was a mother in Israel. She was giving credit to God for her position. Our first response must be to seek the Lord and He promised He would direct us.
It takes practice. Just allowing life to teach us daily and keeping our hearts tender and free from negativity will help us to become women of God.
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So much of our lives as women put us in positions to be peacemakers. We can look around us and watch the news to know that many of us don’t choose this route. Chaulk it up to pride, we want everyone to know we are right regardless of what the facts are, just because “I’m a woman,” or “This is my space, house, car, street, town, etc..” If we can ‘one-up’ another, then we’re successful. If we make those around us walk on eggshells, then we feel respected. If we get our own way, we feel loved.
This is the culture you and I wake up in and we wonder why we have anxiety and stress to deal with.
I look back over the women in my life and see that they each lived their lives by the word of God: the Bible. They each relied on their faith in God to save them, teach them, change & perfect them, and ultimately use them to His glory. If we truly want respect, honor and be considered a wise woman, we must spend time in God’s word daily, allowing it to change us into the image of God. We must allow His thoughts to replace our own, His ways be our ways, His words proceed out of our mouths… Our hearts must be turned toward heaven.
Our goals and desires must align with righteousness and peace.
This wise woman didn’t live her life just to be famous. In fact, she probably continued with her life as it was after Sheba’s head was delivered to Joab. You want to know why? Because her focus was on pleasing the Lord and not herself.
Let that be a challenge to us to make sure our desire to be looked upon as a wise woman be only that the Lord is glorified.
One last thought: I’m amazed at how confident this wise woman spoke. She spoke with authority. She knew her position, she knew her purpose and she confidently acted upon it. I sit here thinking about who I know God wants me to be. I confess there are times I wobble around in my calling and purpose. I don’t always stand confident even though I know the Lord has placed a purpose on me. I believe this is the take-away for me this morning:
God wants you and me to be strong and courageous in our purpose.
Purpose? A wife. A mother.
A boss. A co-worker.
A daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend.
A minister, Sunday school teacher, youth leader.
Who you are right now is your purpose and calling.
“Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for I, the Lord thy God am with thee wherever thou goest.” Joshua 1:9
I am thankful that this wise woman made it into the Bible. She inspires us even today to be women who live our daily lives with courage and grace and who use each situation to grow in wisdom. Because of this, she was able to be in the right place at the right time to save a city. We can do the same.
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