In obeying God through allowing Him to use me to gift a kidney to my neighbor, I became more and more open and aware of my need to know Him more fully. He had used me to transform the lives of Johnston, his family and my family. In addition, He had used me to bring glory to His name through my church and in my neighborhood – through the miracle of a kidney transplant. He planted the seed in my heart to know Him more.
Lord, is this all that you have for me? Was that the only purpose you had for my life and now you are finished with me? Surely you have a purpose for me that follows the kidney donation. Lord, if there is more to you, I want to know you. I want to live my life in obedience to following you. Show me who you are, Lord. Show me.
I had in the past questioned when God was answering prayers and when it was merely a coincidence that the answer came for something I had been thinking about. So I decided that I needed to pray out loud. That way, I could hear myself talking to God and I would not be able to question whether it was merely a thought or it was really a prayer. Anytime I talked to God, it would be out loud – so I could hear the words and allow them to register in my brain that I had spoken it to God. Then, as the answers to questions and prayers began to come, I was better able to give praise and thanksgiving to God – my eyes were opened to see that it was HIM who was providing; the blinders were removed from my eyes. My spirit was opened to accept the fact that HE truly cares about all of the details of life – small and great. Insignificant and significant. He truly cares about everything in my life. Psalm 139 says that He knows the numbers of hairs on my head at any given moment. It also says that HE thinks about me all the time – so if He is thinking about me all of the time, then He must care about what I am doing, thinking and feeling ALL the time. As I would pray and talk to Him, I would then begin to look for the answers or for His input into what I had talked with Him about. It’s an amazing thing – when we turn our eyes and focus to Christ, we will find Him. Every time. Scripture promises, “When you seek me you will find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” When we come to Him with an attitude that Samuel had and say, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.” (I Samuel 3:9)
As I sought God with all of my heart, I began to see Him in places where I had not seen Him before. One day as I walked and prayed, I was explaining to God about how it was time for back to school shopping and we didn’t have the finances to buy new school clothes for the kids. About that time, I walked past a field of lilies and remembered a phrase from scripture about the lilies. When I returned home, I looked up the scripture found in Matthew 6:28-34*. God used that scripture to remind me that He knows what we need and He will supply. And He did. We received an unexpected bonus that week that was used to purchase what was needed.
One day I was walking and talking (out loud) to God about a project that I was working on. I had many questions about what I was to do. Suddenly, my mind was flooded with thoughts about how to go about the project. I stopped in my tracks and said, “Lord, if this is you giving me these ideas, then I need to write them down. I need a pencil.” I took a few more steps and in front of me lay a #2 lead pencil. I laughed and picked up the pencil. “I also need a piece of paper.” A few steps more and there was a construction site with pieces of notebook paper laying on the ground.” That was 15 years ago; I still have the paper and the drawing that the Lord gave me on that day using the pencil and paper that He provided.
I truly believe that God allures us, He draws us to Himself so that He can show us how to live abundantly in His care, in His presence, with His guidance and love. When we open ourselves to hear Him and to be with Him, He will make sure that we hear His voice and sense His promptings. He will speak to us through scripture, through others, though words, thoughts, visions. His greatest desire is that we know Him. Our greatest desire should be the same – that we know HIM. Then and only then does our life begin to make sense and come into alignment with His plans and purpose for us.
I encourage you as you seek Him – pray out loud … and then look and wait for His answer to come. His greatest desire is that you know Him. He promises that when you come looking for you, you will find Him. He’s not hiding from you – He is right with you – but unless you are looking for Him, you will not see Him. Lean into the search. Lean into discovering His presence — ask and you shall receive; seek and you will find!
Questions for Reflection:
1. When is the last time you heard God speak to you? Was it through a thought, a prayer, scripture, someone else? Explain.
2. Do you understand that God has a plan and a purpose for your life? Do you feel that you are in alignment with God so that His plan and purpose is being worked out in your life right now?
3. If not, what adjustments do you need to make so that God can have access to you and you can begin to hear God’s voice more loudly?
4. Is there something blocking you from drawing near to God? Take a few minutes to talk (out loud) to God about what those feelings, emotions, holdbacks are. Ask Him to give you the grace and ability to trust Him. Ask Him to open your spirit so that you can hear Him and sense His nearness.
We long for you. Our spirits were created to commune with you on a moment by moment basis. Give us the courage and strength to approach you, just as we are, so that you can work in our lives and so that we can receive your love. Amen.